10 Hard Truths About Moving with a Family
The real, emotional truths about moving with a family. From loneliness to identity shifts, these are the ones that tend to hit hardest after the move.
The unfiltered reality of relocating your family
Moving is often sold as a fresh start with new opportunities, new places, new beginnings. And while those things are true, there’s a whole other side of relocating that doesn’t get talked about enough. The part where you're standing in the middle of unpacked boxes, missing your people, wondering if it was a huge mistake.
As someone who's relocated with kids in tow, here are the honest, sometimes unspoken truths I’ve learned. The ones that tend to hit hardest after the move.
1. You Can’t Pack Your Support System
No matter how exciting the new chapter is, leaving behind your friends, family, familiar places, and daily routines can feel like a grief process. You may feel lonelier than expected, even if you moved with your partner and kids. Emotional support doesn’t fit in a moving box, and rebuilding that takes time.
2. It Takes Longer Than You Think to Feel Settled
Unpacking boxes is one thing. Feeling at home is another. That emotional and mental “settled” feeling? It can take months, sometimes even years. And when kids are involved, the adjustment multiplies. You’re trying to keep everyone grounded while navigating unfamiliar everything (schools, parks, roads, rhythms).
3. You Might Regret It at First
Yep. Every move we’ve made, I’ve had that “Did we mess up?” moment. The urge to pack it all back up and return to the last city is real. But here’s the truth: discomfort doesn't mean it's the wrong move, it just means you're human. Transitions are hard before they’re good. And it does get good.
4. Kids Might Struggle More Than Expected
Don’t underestimate how deeply kids feel these shifts, especially when routines, friendships, or schools are disrupted. You might notice more tantrums, clinginess, regressions, or emotional breakdowns. Try to stay patient, validate their feelings, and give extra hugs. You're their constant.
5. It’s Always More Expensive Than You Budgeted
No matter how prepared you think you are, the hidden costs will sneak up on you. Gas, tolls, storage, takeout, deposits, hotel nights, last-minute purchases, broken items... it adds up. This is a temporary season, even if your bank account feels otherwise.
6. The Emotional Toll Is Real
Moving is ranked as one of life’s most stressful events for a reason. It brings physical exhaustion, mental overload, decision fatigue, and emotional chaos—all at once. Some days it will feel like too much. That’s normal. You’re doing a huge thing, and it’s okay to feel the weight of it.
7. FOMO Is Inevitable
Watching friends and family continue on without you can sting. Backyard BBQs you’re missing, birthdays you can’t attend, or just regular life happening “back home” without you. But remember: it’s not as much as it seems. People are busy in their own routines—and they miss you too.
8. You’re Forced to Face What You’ve Been Avoiding
Packing shines a big ol’ spotlight on clutter, half-finished projects, and stuff you haven’t dealt with in years. It’s overwhelming, but it’s also freeing. Baby steps. Donate, toss, simplify. Letting go of stuff makes space for a lighter future.
9. It Changes Your Identity (in Subtle Ways)
Leaving behind familiar places and routines can shake your sense of self. You start to rediscover who you are without the usual backdrops. It’s strange and beautiful. You’re evolving. Growing. Becoming stronger in ways you didn’t expect.
10. There’s Beauty in the Breakdown
It’s not all chaos. There’s clarity in the mess, growth in the discomfort, and strength in starting over. Moving brings opportunities you may never have found if you'd stayed put. It can bring your family closer and help you realize: home isn’t a place, it’s your people.
If you’re in the middle of a move, or still recovering from one, just know: you’re not alone. It’s hard. It’s messy. It’s emotional. But it’s also shaping you in the most powerful ways. One day soon, this new place will hold your routines, your laughter, your favorite coffee shop, your people.
Give it time. Give yourself grace. You’re doing better than you think.